Naming Hugo
by Piggwidgeon
Summary: Ron and Hermione can't agree on a name for their newest offspring. A simple deal solves it. T for language. Fluff/One-shot.


Naming Hugo

AN: No ownage of charactersssssss…and fyi this was an…exercise?...in using dialog to show action. P

333

Naming Hugo

"Ronald, I am not naming our son after you."

"Hermione, just think about it. It's strong name, right? You wanted a strong name."

"I don't want a _strong _name!"

"Well you could have fooled me. _Victor?_ I can't believe you want to name our son _Victor_."

"I don't want to name our son Victor, you twit. I want to name him Hugo!"

"Yeah, because that's a _real _name. Do you even _know_ how much he'll get picked on because of that name?"

"It's an honorable name! Victor Hugo is an amazing author!"

"Oh, yes, because some random muggle author deserves to have _our child _named after him, but forget about me! I only risk my life at least once a month!"

"Stop being so arrogant!"

"You might as well name our son after your first ex!"

"That's not fair!"

"Don't you dare throw that at me, Hermione Jean! You know my mum would kill us for breaking that statue."

"Oh, really?"

"Hermione, stop it! Honestly! You're going to wake Rose. And think of your blood pressure, eh? Ronnie isn't going to like it if you get high blood pressure. Ok?"

"If you call him Ronnie again, I'm going to fuck my high blood pressure and pound your face in."

"Now, now Hermione…what're you…what is that?"

"Hehehe…I think it's his foot, Ron. Hey! What're you…? Ron! Ron! Wake up!"

3

"So he just...passed out?"

"And I really couldn't do anything. I just had to let him come to."

"That's such a Ron thing to do, though."

"I just…I didn't think he would faint, though. It was just a foot."

"With Ron, nothing is just anything."

"I know, scone?"

"Sure. So how much longer do you have? Only a couple of weeks, right?"

"Mmm…three."

"Do you have everything in order…or….oh Merlin, these scones are good."

"Well, Gin, I'm glad you like them, and no. We can't decide on a color scheme."

"Let me guess – Ron wants to go with Cannons colors?"

"Merlin, no. He got that message with Rosie. No, he wants to do it in Gryffindor colors."

"That's not bad. We did James' room in Gryffindor colors."

"I mean, I don't have anything _against_ it. I just kind of wanted to do something with a few blues, you know? A bit more…refreshing, I guess."

"Mmm…I think I'm going to try and convince Harry to change Al's room to Ravenclaw colors. I can already tell he isn't going to be a Gryfffindor. He's too…reserved, I guess. From what Perce keeps telling us, he's a textbook Ravenclaw so far."

"He is rather sharp."

"Mhmm."

"Are you thinking of having another anytime soon?"

"No, but then again, that's what we said after James, so…we've lost some credibility in the baby making department, really. So have you at least thought of a name? No? Are you kidding?"

"Guess what he wants to name the kid?"

"Hector?"

"No. Ronald Bilius Weasley Jr."

"Wahahahaha! Oh, that's good. That's too good. I take it you disagree?"

"I want to name him Hugo. What? You don't think that's a good name?"

"It's _terrible_, Hermione. Who names their kid Hugo? Are you sure there isn't some sort of third name you can agree on?"

"There isn't. We've tried that. Twice."

"Uh…you know what? I'm not even going to ask."

"It was not pretty."

"What about Rupert?"

"Please tell me you're joking?"

"It's no worse than Hugo."

"Yeah it is."

"Whatever, Hermione. I have to go to work; _The Prophet_ is expecting me to do a piece on the Harpies game."

"Talk to you later."

3

"Let's make a deal, Hermione."

"What's your deal? Can you pass the potatoes. Be a good girl, Rose, and eat your carrots.'

"Crimson, and the kid can be Hugo."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to raise a kid in Gryffindor colors. What if he doesn't turn out to be a Gryffindor? Can you imagine the confusion we'd cause Hugo?"

"Are you agreeing to the colors?"

"No."

"Then don't call _Ron_ by Hugo."

"Please, you're making me sick. Rosie, don't throw your…Ron, can you get that?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"Thanks."

"Alright, let's make another deal, then."

"I'm not sure I'm liking your…Rosie, _please_ don't throw your spoon! Stop giggling, this isn't funny."

"Here."

"Thanks."

"Just hear my…Rose, stop throwing your spoon! Just hear out my deal, ok?"

"Rose!"

"Hermione, stay calm, will you? I don't need your water breaking right now."

"That's not going to happen."

"Not until it does. Rose, come on, eat your carrots."

"So what's the deal?"

"If the kid has red hair, I get to name him and you pick the nursery. If it has brown or another color, you can name him and I pick the colors."

"…fine."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. Rose just threw her spoon again."

3

"Ronald Bilius Weasley! What the bloody hell did you just do?"

"I…I made pancakes!"

"It doesn't _look_ like you just made pancakes!"

"I just…Rose wanted pancakes, so I made pancakes."

"It looked like a bloody pancake batter flood came through here! This _isn't_ funny, Rose!"

"She's not going to listen."

"Ronald!"

"What?"

"I can't believe you'd make such a…oh, fuck!"

"What's wrong? Hermione?"

"I…I just need to lay down for a few minutes. It's just false labor again."

"Do you want a glass of water?"

"Uh…yeah."

"Here. Are you sure you're ok? Sometimes, I think Ronnie's gonna kill you, you know."

"Yeah I'm…shit!"

"What? What's wrong?"

"I just don't…I don't think they're…Hugo's fucking coming."

"…what?"

"Ron? Ron! Bloody hell! Wake up!"

3

"You passed out."

"When?"

"When I told you Hugo was coming. And again when the doctors said he was coming."

"Err…sorry about that. There're just some things a man can't handle."

"I think you need to have a talk with Harry about that. _He_ managed to make it through both James's and Al's births."

"Hermione…you can't be angry with me about this."

"No, I think you're wrong. I have every right to be angry with you. It's _your_ fault this whole thing happened. Damn it. How can you _pass out_ during your own child's birth?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't even know."

"Hey, 'Mione, why don't you get some rest and we can pick this up later when you're in fighting form?"

"We need to name him, first."

"What?"

"We need to name him. I'm not going to sleep without knowing his name."

"Where is he?"

"Over there in the cot."

"He's…he's got my hair."

"Yes, I get it. He looks like you. I couldn't figure that out on my own. So what's his damned name?"

"Ronald, of course."

"Ugh."

"Ronald _Hugo _Weasley."

"What?"

"And since _I'm_ Ron, he'll go by Hugo."

"Ron…"

"Now go to sleep. What're you…? Why're you crying?"

"I just…thank you. I love you, Ronald Bilius Weasley. I love you, too, Ronald Hugo Weasley. And Rose…where _is_ Rose?"

"The Burrow."

"Well, I love her, too. And Ginny and Harry and James and Al and mum and dad and Bill and Fluer and Vick and Ted and Dom and…and…"

"Why don't you get some sleep, 'Mione. You've had a hard day."

"I need to…I need to draft some reform legislation…."

"Sshhhh…you can do that later, ok?"

"Mmmm."

"Goodnight."

"Mmmm."

"I love you."

s333


End file.
